beloved auntie dd*

20131116-164248.jpg

My sister was visiting last week.  We laughed so much our tummies hurt much of the time and man, we really needed to laugh.  Not a lot of people see my goofy side but if it comes out around them, it means I feel extra safe or they somehow draw it out of me and my sister definitely draws it out (and feels extra safe too).

Back when Cedar was an infant, out of my husband's mouth came "Auntie DD" when gently he handed Cedar to her.  It wasn't a conscious thing at all.  It just came spilling from him in a soulful way and my sister Darlene fell in love with it and it really did seem to suit her.  So Auntie DD she became.

Her and Cedar have had a soul connection since his birth.  Something that feels beyond her being my sister.  I know part of her love for him draws from her love for me but I also feel her and Cedar have something that is so very ancient and knowing and their own story unfolding.  There is a language they share that is all their own and well, they just get each other deep deep.

One time Cedar said "Auntie DD holds my heart and knows it" and really, I think that says it all.  That's so very important for Cedar to open up to someone. That the holding space for him is really big because it needs to be as he is such a sensitive, emotional and deeply FEELing being.

I have tears in my eyes as I write this.  Because really, I'm like Cedar in that way too.  And she's always held my heart and knew it.

  waiting for her 10pm arrival at the airport gate.

waiting for her 10pm arrival at the airport gate.

  he screamed "auntie dd!!!" and ran into her arms.

he screamed "auntie dd!!!" and ran into her arms.

  he reached out to grab her hand

he reached out to grab her hand

  my sis and i had gone on a date for a few hours and when we returned, there was a trail of leaves that led from the kitchen, up the stairs into the bedroom where he was waiting for her to crown her "Leaf Queen".

my sis and i had gone on a date for a few hours and when we returned, there was a trail of leaves that led from the kitchen, up the stairs into the bedroom where he was waiting for her to crown her "Leaf Queen".

  they were singing and dancing near our neighborhood bay

they were singing and dancing near our neighborhood bay

20131116-164224.jpg
  salish kept weaving in and out of them as they circled.

salish kept weaving in and out of them as they circled.

  they were singing a song cedar made up about the moon.

they were singing a song cedar made up about the moon.

 their goodbyes both warm and break my heart so.

their goodbyes both warm and break my heart so.