leaning into it*

self portrait wearing a shirt from my friend Kerrie's Instagram boutique Shop Bonjour Moon

self portrait wearing a shirt from my friend Kerrie's Instagram boutique Shop Bonjour Moon

I've been working on a magazine article for a week or so and one of the questions asked of me was...

"What do you do when you feel uninspired?"

The first thing that came to me when I closed my eyes and thought about all the times I felt uninspired, was a vision of myself like the one above.  Me laying back, leaning into it: Leaning into the un-inspiration.  With most things in my life, I try not to force things.  Perhaps to a fault sometimes but allowing things to unfold slowly and organically has worked for me so far.  At least I think it has.  ; ) 

But for those times when I am working on a project or a writing piece or anything creative really, and I get stuck or feel uninspired, I just pause.  I take this time to not fight it but to embrace it and I do what I need to do to quiet my mind and let it go for a bit.  For me this could be going for a walk in nature or watching a film or show, reading, going to a place that carries beauty, touches me and vibrates throughout my being...basically removing myself in some way from what it is I am trying to make happen when its not happenin'.  Feeling uninspired can be scary, especially if it is something that someone is waiting for that is expected of you.  It can cause anxiety and self doubt in many layered ways and if we are not careful, we find ourselves giving up entirely.  

How would it feel for you to say to yourself...

"Lean into it..."

I just believe so whole heartedly that if we lean into it and accept it, that inspiration will return when its ready.  I can remember numerous times I've shared with a friend or alone in a prayer: "I don't feel inspired. At all..." and the conversation somehow led to a place where something, something revealed itself to me and I found my way back.  I can also recall numerous times I just gave myself space and time to do things that filled up my soul and quieted my mind and rested my body and all of that opened up room for ideas to come flooding in.

People are afraid to admit they are not feeling inspired.  Especially creative souls.  Just like anything else, self awareness and acceptance can be so healing, even if what you are aware of and accepting is that you're just not feeling inspired. One bit.

What do YOU do when you feel un-inspired?

spring vibrations*

my dear camellias*

my dear camellias*

For 10 years my husband and I lived in a high rise, near loud freeways and next door to a football stadium in Southern California.  There wasn't much lushness surrounding our home and most of the flowers we had potted on our veranda died from the intense sun reflecting against the saltillo tiled floor.  Succulents were the only plant/flower that survived and I grew to really love them, especially the ones that trailed down.

So when we moved to Washington and most especially when we could finally call the seaside cottage we lived in our hOMe, I was surrounded by plants, flowers, trees that I knew nothing about!

spring droplet*

spring droplet*

Our home was once owned by master gardeners and during the Spring and Summer it is draped in blooms everywhere you look.  There are some spaces where we need to cut a path so we can get from one place to the next.

The first year living here, I felt so overwhelmed that I did very little.  I was so afraid to hurt any tree or flower and also, we did not yet own the house and I was very conscious of our landlord's master opinion.  Its just now slowly sinking in that this land belongs to us.  

As the sun is beginning to peek through our gray and rainy skies and we have a few dry days in a row here and there, the blossoms are surfacing one by one.  

We told each other this year we will pay attention and keep note of what it is we are growing and how to care for it...and what it is we need to let go of to begin our design.  We have such whimsical plans for our land and it will be so fun to share it here step by step as we go. 

a few of my pots*

a few of my pots*

For now I will focus on potting some lovelies to scatter around our front yard.  Last Summer a dear woman that owns a nursery took me under her wing and graciously offered me wisdom about how to arrange various flowers in pots.  I am excited to try and do this on my own this year.

I can feel that after being so ill for a few months, that I am truly noticing so much more around me than I used to.  Just yesterday, I began to hear little sounds coming from one of our hanging gourds and saw that a chickadee was making a wee home in there.  I've never been so delighted about a bird in my life.  I waited patiently for it to appear so I could capture it.  Cedar was so thrilled about the whole thing and now talks to it when its in there.

My neighbor had a wonderful idea to hang tiny scraps of yarn in her tree so the birdies could make bohemian styled nests.  She inspired me to do it as well and I hope to spot one soon to share with all of you!

yarn for the birdies*

yarn for the birdies*

...and here's an outdoor fae*nook I created today!

Salish basking in the sun*

Salish basking in the sun*

This sun is lifting our spirits and we feel such vibrations of creation through our bodies!


We still need sacred womb spaces earthside...

Cedar has always loved forts as all children do.  I notice for him, he builds them almost out of necessity.  A way for him to quiet and control his environment.  He builds them in our closets or under the tables or with all the pieces of our furniture moved about throughout the day draped in every blanket and pillow he can find.  Then he brings inside battery operated candles for ambiance.  These are the spaces he feels safe and where he can create world upon world and every once in awhile, we are allowed in with him.

For some time, I've dreamed about a fort we can all share as a family.  A cozy fae-nook where we could curl up and read or do his homework and tell stories.  I was inspired by this article I was included in on Apartment Therapy so long ago with this image of my bedroom in our previous house (fourth image across).  I'm in love with the dreamy affect of fabric and twinkle lights.

Rather than use blankets or sheets that we use on a daily basis, I thought it would be wise to go to Goodwill to purchase King size sheets just for this fort alone.  That way, we can keep it up as long as we wanted to.  I was planning on scavenging for big tree branches in our forest out back but the day before I planned on making the fort, a neighbor friend told me that another neighbor had cut down many of his willow tree branches and was giving them away.  She invited me to go look and then offered me a few of the most gorgeous twisted and curly branches.  This was such a very unexpected gift.  I have been wanting to decorate my hOMe in willow branches for so so long.

I had no idea how I was going to begin.  Truly.  I sat and stared at this corner of the living room for ages and thought how on earth is this all going to stay together?  Thank goodness Cedar was preoccupied upstairs and I tried to keep him up there as long as possible to surprise him.  I started stepping on a few of my old vintage stools and chairs to reach the ceiling and fell a few times and sliced my finger on a branch on the way down.  My husband finally suggested his sturdy old ladder we've had for years and placing one plant hook on the ceiling and then it all started coming together.  

I was amazed at how strong the willow branches were (the ones I chose were quite thick).  I am delighted how it turned out and now even more inspired to do some nooks up in our bedrooms.  

When Cedar came downstairs and saw it for the first time he gasped and said...

"Mommy, this is love."

I don't think I ever want to take it down.  Each of us have enjoyed it...even our sweet puppy and kitty.  There is something more special about the branches...bringing mama earth into what feels like a womb in this space.  Whenever Cedar comes in from his outside adventures by the sea or in the forest, he brings with him treasures from nature and hanging them from the willow branches is what he has in mind to do.

Even as we roam earthside, our spirits, our souls, our little child within, still need a sacred womb space to come to and feel cradled and held and nourished and utterly safe.