Mmmmm...oh have I been reveling in this precious Spring. Doors and windows open, soft flowing fabric in the breeze, the scents of our myriad of roses in the air and the warmth, oh the warm on our skin. Where we live, our sun is usually cloaked in grayish-ness and we crave the wee peeks beyond the clouds. This has been an unusually warm Spring for us and we are seeing blossoms that were indeed not here last year. I haven't wanted to be behind a computer, so I have been quieter here than I had hoped. I have so many stories to tell and they are marinating. Perhaps on the grayer days here, the words will come.
This month I was so honored to be interviewed by the editor Kelly Keyser of the up and coming Scarlet Pink magazine. Kelly's questions gently nudged me to come into my body, center myself and get grounded in sharing about my creative life. I talk about my experience with creating and teaching our Soulsigh ecourse (turned ebook), about my future solo ecourse, what I do when I am uninspired, who I am when I am my most free and so much more. I was completely taken aback to learn that Kelly chose the image of me taken by Deb Schwedhelm for the cover. It feels so surreal! You can purchase a copy on MagCloud here. My interview is on pages 28 - 38.
Hope each of you find magic in unexpected places this weekend.
The other day, I read these words and they validated some stirrings I was having within...
"Vulnerability is the gateway drug. To happiness. To fulfillment. To real intimacy with your own life, and to alchemizing your deepest desires." ~ Mindy Tsonas
Being vulnerable is such a big risk and it takes so much courage. There are times my vulnerability isn't met and as painful as that is while I sift through the aftermath of second guessing being so vulnerable and honest, I always come a place of gratefulness that I could be true to myself, true to another. Mostly, my vulnerability is met with compassion and love and opens the gateway for others to be vulnerable. Sometimes when we are so afraid and holding on tight to some feelings, all it takes is another human being in our presence, being vulnerable, for us to feel safe to let that tenderness spill out of us.
Not too long ago, I was sitting on my porch with a neighbor friend and there was a moment when she burst into tears and told me she wondered if I really liked her. Then I burst into tears and told her I was afraid I wasn't hippy enough for her. The protection of walls we placed around us for a few weeks crumbled in that moment and we cried and laughed and held the little girls within us that needed reassurance that we are worthy and lovable. Her and I could have gone months wondering and protecting and yet she was the brave one to open up that gateway. It was a happy moment. A fulfilling moment. Full of intimacy and alchemy to our souls. Just as Mindy Tsonas so beautifully said.
Oh loves, my heart is pounding with a thrum thrum thrum in my chest...
My creative partner, Hillary Rain and I are far-beyond-thrilled to announce that the eBook version of our online course is here!
Launching this precious work in a medium that allows more beautiful souls all around the world to receive it has felt so vulnerable and tender, like a birth in and of itself, where we birthed and now are releasing and trusting the journey of our soul-child. I've been so emotional today, so many tears shed along side a full heart knowing the healing and balm this will be to the sisters that are drawn to it.
I wanted to share an excerpt from the eBook where I write about a visualization/meditation I did years ago. I was walking along a path and saw from a distance a little girl ahead of me and knew I had to meet with her. This visualization was during my fertility journey right before we decided to adopt...
I slowly walked towards the little girl on the path who was crouched over drawing in the dirt with a stick. She had brown hair with loose curls covering her eyes. A dirty, white stained dress and navy blue salt-water sandals. There was a vulnerability to her. A shyness. When I was close, standing above her, I could smell musk and maple and it seemed so familiar. Like home. I kneeled down in the dirt, so close that my knees were touching hers. She looked up at me with light brown doe eyes. Her smile was at ease in a way that my presence offered her the safe that she needed. There she was. There was me. 35 years ago.
We meet again. I see her now. And it was as if a deep knowing that I had kept tightly under key, unlocked. All these years of trying to grow life in my womb and it not happening, I was beginning to wonder if I was just not capable of growing life, or more importantly, of mothering. Yet as I sat near the little girl me and held her hand and we held a mirror to each other and truly saw each other, I realized something that was such a healing balm.
I AM a mother. I’ve always been a mother. A gentle and wild mama to the little girl within me.
I HAVE grown life and look at her, my inner child. She’s so pure and divine. And I see her and love her more than anyone could ever see her and love her. And that is all she truly needs.
You can read this and so much more from me, my partner Rain and the many extraordinary guests (including Laura Mazurek, Mandy Steward, Marissa Moondaughter, Stephanie Perkinson, Mara Glatzel, Teresa Robinson!) that contributed to our course. You can purchase your copy for $29 here. We kept the cost low because we wanted to reach as many precious souls as we could. We hope you join us in this sacred sisterhood.