I was supposed to be in Arizona this week hanging with my dear Jess. It was to be a gathering of souls that both of us have been longing for, needing, craving. As I have shared a few posts ago, I have not been feeling well and am putting a lot of intention into healing what is coming up for me physically. One thing I do know about myself is that when Cedar and I travel and stay in someone else's house, by the end of the trip, I tend to get sick. Much of this has to do with lack of sleep and the stress of a toddler being out of routine. As the trip to AZ approached, I had to make a difficult decision to stay home and take care of myself for the time being. At least until we get the holes in our walls patched up and I begin to breathe in fresh air and fill up my veins with delicious oxygen. That phone call with Jess was tear soaked for both of us but I am so grateful that she honored where I am at.
We still hadn't found the right folks to do the work on our home. The night I had the talk with Jess, we went out to run errands. Outside of our house there were these three gentleman chatting around a red truck. From a distance, Cedar said "helloooooo!' really loud. Then he said "hello" again and again until the three gentleman realized he was yelling over towards them and they smiled and waved. Cedar says hello to strangers quite often but this he had never done. The longer we looked at the truck, we realized it was a construction truck and Boho Boy said..."I am going to go chat with them about the work we need done and see if they're available." Within a few minutes, they went into our home, checking out the walls and setting a time to do the job. The serendipity of it all was amazing. Part of me wonders if Cedar knew these were the guys that we needed. Sometimes he is so connected to what we need in a cosmic way. It gives me chills.
We were worried about the massive dust in our home while they were working on our walls this week, so Boho Boy set Cedar and me up in a motel by the beach, not far from where we live. I know he felt badly that I had to postpone my time with Jess. He knows how much I miss being with my girlfriends, skin to skin. Its been over a year now of being away from my loves. My heart was broken. So, I think he was wanting this to be a healing retreat in more ways than one.
The sand is steps away from our room. Cedar and I have spent the last few days outside covered in cold sand, laying on dewy grass, chasing waves and breathing in fresh ocean air. I can feel my lungs expanding. My energy feels so present and more clear. We lean back and worship the sun by day and hold the moon by night. There is no schedule where we are here and its been so dreamy. Boho Boy comes at night for dinner and this weekend, has decided to prolong our stay so we can be here as a family. We are all craving fresh air and the healing energy of the ocean.
In those moments when Cedar is building sand mountains or making art with rocks, I breathe in deep, looking at those precious waters and I connect to a deeper part of me that I have been missing.
And salty air makes for deeper sleep.
...and happy dreads.
Here are some images of our time so far...