I don't feel very inspiring when it comes to this particular Valentines Day. I was away from home all week in a hotel with a microwave. So, I didn't bake any Valentine cookies or do any heart crafts like many of my loves did. In fact, this morning while waking up, wiping my eyes and shuffling my feet out to the kitchen, I kissed my Boho Hubby goodbye with a fuzzy dreaded head and we both forgot to wish one another a Happy Valentines Day. Uninspiring indeed.
What I do know is that I love my husband so true and it feels so damn good to feel safely loved by him. We're in a bit of a romantic funk with all that is going on, which both of us have gently talked about. When we discuss this, defenses don't come up because we are aware and admit that both of us equally need to put more intention into romance. I have a girlfriend that has a marriage I deeply admire. She once told me that when her children turned about three years old, she found both her and her husband feeling more sexy and wanton because their children were a bit more independent, so they had more time to focus on their relationship. I don't mean I am comparing myself to other marriages as just like people, all relationships hold their own kind of beauty and romance and life together. But it of course give me comfort to know others ebb and flow just as we do (with children or not).
We know we need to make time for just him and I and we are planning on getting a babysitter to go to a romantic Moroccan restaurant next weekend...sitting on silk pillows and eating with our fingers. YUM.
But for now, during this lovers holiday, just feeling loved for being wholly me is enough. To me, the sweet small things he does for both Cedar and I on a daily basis holds more value than a Valentine's card or a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers. Like last night when I was in the kitchen, wearing sweats and feeling smelly, cutting a pizza slice into tiny pieces for Cedar to eat and he came up behind me and kissed my neck telling me I looked sexy. Then later when he sacrificed watching his beloved hockey game for us to watch a family film together because that is what Cedar wanted.
Perhaps next year we will be about pink and red this or that. But this year, its about getting through the day and holding one another close when Cedar has finally fallen asleep for the night, and feeling safely loved in one another's arms.