Its beginning to truly sink in how much my baby boy has grown. His baby face is becoming less baby and more boy. His feet dangle over the car seat because he's growing so tall. He fits into 6 - 9 month clothing and they are snug on him. He is in size 4 diapers because his booty is getting super bubbly. His hair is beginning to grow over his ears and flip up and naturally part in the middle. And this is just his appearance.
If I begin to share about his delightful personality that is developing I'll start crying. Oops, too late. Tears are already present. I tried.
He's just...well, just...unique in spirit I suppose. But every mother feels this way, I know. He has this pure joy about him that touches people. Whenever I take him out, if they are not commenting on what a pretty girl he is (even if I put him in blue...hee hee), they are saying that he is such a happy, joyful baby. And he is. Always smiling. Smiling with his whole body, with his mouth open wide and his hands clasped to his chin. Smiling like this while gazing deeply into the person's eyes. People walk away feeling loved and special and cared for and important. How they should always feel, really...but Cedar has a gift to show them in an instant.
He's also very affectionate. He loves to stroke our face and neck and arms like a person in love with their lover. When I lay him down for a nap and move him on his side towards me, he immediately grabs my face...one hand on each side, places his forehead on mine and holds tight until he falls asleep. I look forward to this three times a day. It often makes me cry and his face gets all wet but he doesn't mind. He just breaths deep and gets it. He gets how long we've been waiting for one another and he never questions the tears. He even sometimes wipes them for me. He's been waiting too and perhaps this is why he clings so tightly. Finally, finally...we are together...thank you mommy and daddy for enduring all that pain. For sticking it out. For holding onto hope that I would come someday. Here I am. Lets marinate in it together.
He is 7 months old, right? So often we hear that he is an old soul.
He is now doing this adorable diddy where he sings vowels. "Ahhhhhh"...."Ohhhhhh"...."Eeeeeee", along with his huge body smile and his arms waving and drumming his hands on whatever is in front of him. It totally cracks us up. He's already a rock star.
His attention span is unbelievable. It actually weirds people out sometimes. If I have a friend over, he can sit on my lap and listen to us chatter on. He just observes and silently participates in the communication. If we have those nights where we are totally worn and need to veg out on a show, his eyes are glued to the telly until the show is finished. Its wild and we often shake our heads, knowing this isn't normal. Babies can't typically sit through an episode of In Treatment where two people are sitting on a couch in therapy for 30 minutes straight, right? ; )
He's learned the sign for "milk", so we now know when he is thirsty. Now we're working on the sign for "food" and next will be "mommy" and "daddy". You keep doing it and think to yourself, "how will he ever get this?" and so, the first time he signed "milk" we were totally blown away.
This isn't about me bragging or boasting about my child. This is me being totally in awe and feeling so absolutely humbled that we were chosen to be his parents. I just feel he has some awesome work to do on this planet and that raising him is crucial to all of this. I often try to not be overwhelmed by the task but to just love him fiercely and with total abandon and know that this love is what is going to teach me how to teach him.
He's just so precious to us. He's sleeping now and I miss him and want to go wake him up just so I can get drunk again with his gorgeous, soulful eyes. But I'll be a good mommy and let him rest. Or I'll just lay there quietly and stare without him knowing. I don't know how many times I do that rather than all the other things I should be doing while he's sleeping. ; )