spending time with nicole and alex

I am noticing that when I have time away from Cedar, whether it is when he is napping (which is very rare these days) or when he is in his woodland preschool 3 days a week, I carry this unnecessary guilt around that unless I fill this time with housework or house projects, that I am being too indulgent. I am not sure where that pressure comes from. Its not coming from my husband, although given a hormonal day, I will think it is. My husband has his own business and he works from home in an office downstairs, so we are fully aware how hard he works from morning until evening with mini breaks in between to play with Cedar or practice archery out back. It is important to me that my husband knows we honor and appreciate his efforts to support our family so well and it is important to me that he views my nurturing Cedar and our home and our bellies as an equal effort of contribution to our family's well being. I lived on my own for so long supporting myself, as well as had my own business after we were married, so getting used to not contributing financially to my family can play a bit of a mind trip on me and my self worth as a woman.  I know it won't always be like this  because I have some projects on the horizon but at this stage in our journey of wellness and of nurturing Cedar, it needs to be for the time being.

It is good for me to remember that the moments I take for myself are not only for myself but are for my boys too. Meaning, if I want to sit for an hour to browse online for wisdom that interests and fulfills me, then I will be a more present mother and wife. What I am learning about myself as an Introvert, is how crucial alone time is for me and being a mother of a toddler and a wife of a stay at home working husband, alone time is more precious to me than it has ever been in my life. I cannot always fill my alone time with cleaning and picking up the house or grocery shopping or errands. This can feel so very draining for me. So I am trying to rethink and balance my new-found alone time while Cedar is in school three days a week for a few hours. I am most recently wanting to give myself permission to allow some of this time to go towards activities that fill my soul. And this is perfectly okay and good, so good for Cedar and my husband to witness. Part of why I am sharing these feelings in this space is to shoo the guilt away and to grow deeper into an awareness of my needs.

Today I chose to spend some time online, which I don't do often these days and when I do, it needs to be with an intention or I get overstimulated or spiral down with comparison gremlins. I was on the couch and my dear husband suggested I sit in our mud room-turned dining area. He said there was sun shining in there. He even pulled the table and chair out for me just right. My heart warmed at this gesture because he could easily resent this time of hush for me but rather, he supported and encouraged it. So, I snuggled under the sun and spent time on my friend Nicole's website: Whole Food Meal Plans (see photo above). I joined her and her husband's program (they are new sponsors) and I am thrilled to begin with their recipes and natural health ideas next week. So far this past hour browsing their program, I have already learned so much from them and have been led to other blogs/sites with food and natural product recipes that feel so doable to me. I am a newbie at making my own salves and tinctures and mists from what surrounds me in nature. I am a huge supporter of purchasing my friend's and sponsor's natural products but seem to notice I have not been confident enough to make my own. Well, that is going to change and I feel so supported by the blog community in regards to this shift in my life living here in the Pacific Northwest surrounded by nature's medicine.

Heal-All (Prunella Vulgaris) around our home

My friend was over the other day and pointed at all the Prunella Vulgaris growing around my house. I had no idea their healing properties! Remember I shared that this is my year of the Deer...of gentleness and healing for me and my family? Well its so fitting that these precious Prunellas are surrounding us in a purple cocoon of wellness. They are also referred to as Heal-All or Self-Heal.  Of course they are.

{important correction!  just found out from an herbalist friend of mine that this plant is actually called Lamium Purpureum (aka Purple Nettle)!  see?  we are all learning together in this space.  and this is a beautiful lesson for all of us how important it is to check with experienced herbalists when harvesting our own plant medicine.  Lamium has its own healing properties that our family needs.  so truly, its perfect}