soulsigh-ish moments*

a glimpse of our ecourse

Soulsigh.  Mmmm...that word.  I am madly in love with that word.  Perhaps you've figured that out by now.  ; )  

My dear friend (and creative partner & baby mama to our lovechild) whispered that word across her lips within moments of me first connecting with her. Not only did it make me fall deeper in awe of her but it brought breath to me.  Life to my heart.  That simple word says so so much.   Soulsigh.  When something permeates your being with inhale and exhale and goosebumps and feel-good-shivers and heartmelts and deep deep connection to the Divine and the Mother and your inner Goddess and your precious glorious soul.  Say it out loud to yourself.  In a whisper. Soulsighhhh.  Or in a shout out to the beautiful sky: Soulsigh!  Do you feel it too?

So when it came to naming our series of ecourses, that word just felt so organically the one.  That word...for me personally, just shifts things to the better and its helped me define what it is that fills me up in my life. It has created an awareness that when I am worn and raw, depleted and very low on reserves that I need to make time for Soulsigh-ish moments to nourish my body, mind, spirit and soul.  Not just for me but for those around me.

Like yesterday. 

Its been an emotionally draining month for my wee family within these four walls.  I need to honor the privacy of my boys with not too much detail but with big growth spurts and a few huge transitions, its been intense for our sensitive boy and we've all been in the depths of its intensity.  We walk so intuitively with him and it has come to a place where we've had shift what is no longer working for his body and spirit and ask for help.  Asking for help is both scary and brave! Especially if you're so used to a certain rhythm and you know it will look and feel different. I'm in deep honor of this process for us. Its been a deeply vulnerable place but it has brought us so close together.  My husband and I ebb and flow with who feels stronger in a particular moment and gosh, I've fallen deeper in love with him if that's possible.  My husband and I have been through journeys together that could draw us apart but the opposite has happened and I'm in tears writing that out.  So grateful it is him that walks with me.

And our dear family that lives far from us.  Oh how they have surrounded us in spirit (and in body when they are able).  Just yesterday when I felt that I was hanging by a thin thread, my sister wrote me this about the family and how they are with us...

"If you look closely at that thread you will find that it is made up of many strands. One for each person that loves the three of you. Alone, they are delicate but together and braided, they are strong."

With my mother's fervent prayers and reading my sister's words, I cried a river and then I felt life breathe into me.  Shortly after, my husband gently asked me to go on a walk in the forest alone.  Just me. We have needed to team-parent so much that time alone has not really been an option.  He saw me.  Truly saw me and what I needed more than I could see it for myself.

So into the forest I walked and the entire journey became such a metaphor for me...


my healing forest walk

my healing forest walk

Much of the path was covered and overgrown because plant life grows at warp speed here when the sun comes out and the sun had been out for over a week.  I had to pull my way through the tall weeds and branches and at points I wasn't sure where the path was.  A handful of times I had to take a deep breath and walk through my fears of claustrophobia or the feeling of being lost.  My heart beat wildly as I pulled and pushed my way through the thickness with scraped arms and legs and happened upon a huge glorious clearing.  A wide magical field near the shore.  It was divine. Then I found a muddy path from the shore that led up to the true trail.  I found it because I didn't give up or allow my fear to hold me still.  So, I stood and sat under the shelter of mossy trees.  I prayed.  I allowed myself to be cradled by Mother Earth and I found God there.  I felt the gentle and wild feminine deep within and swirling all around me as I threw my head back.  Mmmmm... and all because I allowed just one hour of time alone in the woods.  Everyone's experience in nature is uniquely their own.  Mmmm...this was mine yesterday.

I came home and everything felt shifted.  Cedar is such a barometer of our emotions.  He is such an empath like me and him and I had the most clear conversation and connection than we've had in weeks.  I shared with him about my walk and he looked into my eyes and said "life is inside, here..." and he laid his hand on my chest.   That moment was other worldly.  I needed that connection with him.

Soulsigh-ish moments.  These are what they are.  Those moments we are open to and receive for ourselves.  The moments we create time for to nourish our(selves).  The moments where there are messages and metaphors that bring us life, wisdom, guidance.  For me, these moments in the forest offered me the hope and strength I needed to trust.  Release and trust. 

This is why this course is needed by not only so many of you but also me and Rain.  We all need to be reminded and perhaps often that it is okay to nourish and that it is not selfish.  Those around you need you to be nourished so that you can love deeper and listen to them more intently and snuggle them softer and be more gently present. 

Mmmmm...Soulsigh...its one more week until our course starts on the full moon, July 22nd.  We would be so honored if you joined our moon-circle-tribe.  There will be an abundance of Soulsigh-ish moments to be had!