where i sit, taken with phone

I am sitting here at a coffee shop down the street from our home. This is the first time I have been on the Internet in three full days. At home our Internet/Cable/Phone is all interconnected. If one is down, all is down and that is how it has been at our home the last three days. I have been completely disconnected and it has felt very odd. It has actually brought some feelings to surface about my priorities and how much energy I devote to a virtual world.

I came home from Cedar's doc appointment a few minutes ago and as I walked through the door with him on my hip, Boho Boy greets us with these precious words: "Honey, why don't you go to a coffee shop for a few hours?". I am not sure why that thought hadn't occurred to me. That I could connect here with a steaming cup of joe. In fact, a few weeks ago, we even talked about me doing this at least three nights a week to work on my e-course. Time has just slipped by and life just feels selfless these days. So, I am sitting here selfishly and loving every minute of it. Thank you, Boho Boy, for reminding me what I need.

So, what you see in this poorly processed photo above taken with my phone, is exactly where I sit. You might see some splashes of baby food near the keys. Nice. I decided not to Photoshop those out. This is my life.

In fact, I went to Cedar's doctor today and afterwards realized I had his avocado bits in some of my dreads. Nice again. I took him to the doc because he's been tugging on both ears...and at times slapping them. It has seemed a bit aggressive compared to his usual soft rubbing he does on his lobes. Something he has done to sooth himself to sleep since birth. I had a feeling he was tugging hard because of teething, but I wanted to be sure we weren't missing an ear infection. I know some babies have them without getting a fever, although that is rare. Anyways, while Cedar charmed his gorgeous blond beauty of a doc, we discovered he just had a bit of fluid in his ears. All from teething and completely normal. So, he will be sleeping a bit elevated for a few days.

Ahhhh...Rosie Thomas is singing throughout the cafe. Oh how her melodies bring back such sweet memories of when I first started blogging.

I have no idea when our Internet will start working. Something about a gigantic outage in our area. Part of me likes it this way. The first day I found myself sitting on the couch when Cedar was napping and wondering what the heck I am going to do with myself since the house was clean and laundry was done. It made me realize that entering into the virtual world is a bit of an addiction. I know many of you are rolling your eyes and telling me "of course it is!" as you too inhale a big puff of these words on my blog. ; ) We are all hopelessly addicted. Or perhaps there are some out there that could completely do without but not most of the lovelies in my world. This is how we all stay connected: Blogs, Emails, Comments, Skype, etc.

I tried to imagine trying on another life for a while. What if we moved to the country, not too far from a cafe with wireless. What if rather than blogging and emailing that I spent those spare hours of my day gardening (both veggies and flowers) and sewing cute organic clothes and taking a belly dance class and writing my book and actually opening myself up to meet up with friends that live near me? What if I spent those spare hours talking on the phone with my far away family and friends. A phone date per day? Just so many things I could be putting my energy towards. It would definitely be a life of looking within for inspiration rather than looking at so many others and gathering inspiration from them.

That is when that still small gentle voice whispers..."but there are so many blessings." And there are. I have met some of my most kindred spirits in this virtual world. Even though I don't know what the inside of their house looks like, through their words, I quickly learned the inside of their hearts. There is something about blog relationships that feel quicker and more intensely deep because what we do in these spaces is spill without boundaries that we tend to carry around in the real world. It also offers me a space to discover and exercise my voice. A space to share my story so that others can gather nuggets of wisdom and to not feel alone. And as I shared earlier, it is dripping with inspiration.

So as this blog post comes to an end, I realize I do not have the answers yet. In fact, as I am disconnected at home from the Internet and media, I feel even more confused about any resolution on what serves me most: Being disconnected or connected.

I wonder if many of you feel the same...